My first visit to the North-East

(This is a story of a girl who is newly married and goes to her husband's native place for the first time after marriage. However, the story of love and adventure takes a twist when the husband leaves her in half of the journey)

The Girl narrates her story!!

I love visiting new places. Perhaps I wished a life full of adventure, fulfilled with travelling, exploring new places and knowing the way people living in different parts of this country. I have visited many places since my childhood, I happened to conquer most of the places from North India, South India, East and West India and I love to explore and learn about all new places. However, there is another part which is lying above on the map of India, where most of the big cities eyes would probably not fall for the regular trip plans if I assume. God made these places with the most scenic, gratifying, and away from the hotchpotch, noisy and over-crowded cities, away from the pollution and population. A place that is the most incredible and vibrant in the lap of nature, it has been shaped and structured by God from all the corners. I was going to the land of my dreams, probably I had not dreamt to go there in my life, but I was always fascinated by the hills and the mountains.

I was very excited, as I would be visiting a place about which I had read in books and heard only in news once in a while, the place which once used to record the highest rainfall on Earth in a year. First time in my life I was going to step my feet beyond the ordinary and usual places that I have been visiting all the time, it was tremendously a beautiful feeling altogether. I would have never imagined that I would go to North-East India. This shows my love for the adventurous hills and mountains and how I am so much in love with God’s beautiful nature. I was born in a city where I could find only people, vehicles, noise and pollution, but my city is the most homely place for me. However, I was married to a person who was born and brought up in the heart of nature. My husband grew up in the most amazingly beautiful abode under the sky. And I was visiting my husband’s native and my in-laws for the first time after my marriage. We were invited to my husband’s only sister's firstborn baby boy’s ‘Naming’ and ‘Rice Eating Ceremony’, in short, what we call it as ‘Annaprashan’ in the Bengali language. So basically my sister-in law’s first baby boy, who was just six months old was going to be a hardcore foodie like all the grown-up people. I was visiting my Husband’s native place Shillong with him and my mother-in-law.

We travelled by train named ‘The Saraighat Express’, which is a daily superfast train between Howrah (Kolkata) and Guwahati (Assam) and the journey was almost for 18 hours. I was so excited to look out through the window of the running train, about how the people of North-East live. The train was passing through Bardhaman, Malda Town, Siliguri, New Alipurduar, in West Bengal and New Bongaigaon junction, Kamakhya in Assam and many other small railway stations which I missed to note down in my diary that I always carry during my journey to jot down whatever comes along my way and all those beautiful places which God has created in his forbidden kingdom. I could get the glimpse of the tea garden from the running train and how people wear their traditional clothes in the North-East. I was fantasised that I am going to see many more adventurous and astonishing things on my way to Shillong.

Guwahati Junction– the last station, which is known to be the gateway to the North-East, is where the train stopped. Guwahati seems to look alike Kolkata, even the weather is quite humid. From the station, we hired a car to drive us to Shillong. My Husband started briefing and explained about all the places that we were crossing by. He said the roadway that connects Assam and Meghalaya, is the longest roadway there, on one side, falls the Assam territory and the other side is ruled by the Meghalayan government. He also narrated that the roadsides sell the best pickles and wines over there and the government does not even possess any tax on selling wines. On the way, there is a Ganesha Temple, where people throw coins from running vehicles and worship God. He showed me the Umium lake, which is also known as Barapani Lake. It is a huge lake in a valley surrounded by hills on all the sides. He said that Hydro-electricity is generated from this Lake which is distributed to the entire state. There are many resorts around the lake and facilities for water- sports invite the tourists to this place. I also saw few tourists standing at that place, most probably even they were from Kolkata I assumed. We halted at Nongpoh, where we had some refreshments. The weather was not that chilly as I thought and I was quite comfortable with the temperature, but my husband was quite concerned and kept asking whether I am feeling cold or not. I saw tribal men and women in their traditional attire, selling pineapples, oranges, pears, honey and varieties of pickles, which are their local produce. Witnessed the limestone and coal mines on the way, and I could recall from my school books that Meghalaya is the largest producer of limestone.

We reached Shillong in about three and a half hour.

Day 1: The weather was awesome, it was a clear sky and lovely sunshine. The beauty of Shillong is beyond any description. The undulating landscapes make the scenery even more beautiful in the eyes of the spectator. My husband said that the British were so enchanted by the beauty of this place that they named Shillong as the “Scotland of the East”. We happened to approach towards Rilbong, where my husband spent his childhood. In Rilbong, he showed me a house named 'Jeet Bhoomi' where Rabindranath Tagore stayed for a few days and wrote ‘Shesher Kobita’, some of them also name it as Malancha or Mitali. On the lawns of the well-decorated house are inscribed, “Here lived Rabindranath Tagore in October 1919”. Rabindranath Tagore also named this state as ‘Meghalaya’, meaning ‘Abode of Clouds’. Most of the houses in Shillong are the traditional mountainous type houses, built of wood with slanting corrugated sheets on the roofs one after the other as if the roofs forming a staircase on the hill slopes. However, days have changed and people are going in for multi-storeyed and concrete buildings. I entered the house where once my husband has spent the early days of his life and where he grew up. It was his eldest uncle’s house in Rilbong, near Laban. He calls his eldest uncle Badakaku (Bada=Big, Kaku=Uncle). His Grandmother whom he calls as Thanna and his eldest aunty, whom he calls Kakimoni, both were at home at that time. I greeted them and touched their feet in their traditional way, by kneeling down before them and touch their feet with both the hands.

I took bath with warm water, because even though the atmosphere was cozy but the water was very chilly, I also washed all my clothes that I wore while travelling because my in-laws are very customary ritualistic and they follow washing the used clothes every day, which we in cities happen to keep for 2-3 days to wash them in washing machine all at once. His cousins had arrived to meet us at the time when I was taking bathe because they were very excited to see their eldest brother’s newly wedded wife. I was feeling a bit awkward because I didn’t wear my saree properly, so I asked my husband to keep them engaged. They were talking to him and when I was ready they introduced themselves to me (Apu, Tinu, and Ankus as their names), they were cute, friendly and talking very sweetly, the little one Ankus was a very loving boy. Kakimoni was very kind, she served us lunch together and cooked delicious fish curry. The entire family loves to eat fish, but his grandmother is a vegetarian, so she cooks and eats separately. She is a great devotee of God and performs puja every day 3-4 times, she is very adorable and a wise lady. I was very tired on the journey, that’s why I fell asleep in the afternoon. Evening my husband went to a doctor’s clinic for his checkup, because the doctor seemed trustworthy since childhood he goes to the same doctor for his regular health checkup. My in-law's mother tongue is Sylheti (Sileti/Syloti), so they spoke in their language all the time. Garo and Khasi are also a major language of Meghalaya. The pronunciation in the Sylheti dialect is that they mostly use ‘pha’ while speaking, although it is very similar to the dialects of Standard Bengali language, it lacks mutual intelligibility with Bengali language and sometimes it would not be understood by a native speaker of standard Bengali. Kakimoni was talking to me in Bengali and she was kind enough to tell me to speak in my language, because if I speak Sylheti I may have a whole lot of tongue twists. Later in the evening she showed me photographs and narrated the stories of my husband’s and her only daughter’s childhood. All day long I didn’t feel cold, but as the night grew- it was shivering cold.

Day 2: I was feeling a bit debilitated due to the hectic journey and also the sudden climatic change. His kakimoni prepared tea in the morning and served us breakfast. One distinguishable feature of Shillongites is that they consume a lot of tea any time of the day or at least 6 times a day and also chew a lot of paan (the betel leaves) most probably each and every hour. People are very much addicted to tea and paan because these food habits offer them to adjust to the chilling climatic conditions and also chewing paan helps in digestion and blood circulation, therefore, people prefer to chew paan in every 1 hour and also loves to drink tea even at night after 10 pm.
We were ready and Tinu accompanied us, we hired a local taxi (which was the tiny Maruti 800, where hardly 4 occupants can sit comfortably, but we were 6 passengers and the driver). It was getting quite messy for me to adjust and manage to sit on the seat or someone’s lap for that matter, as I was wearing a saree. We went to his only elder sister’s house in Jail Road, met my sister-in-law for the first time and also the special baby boy for whom we all were in Shillong- my husband’s Nephew, the baby was very cute and I was very pleased to take him in my arms for the first time. The whole afternoon we spent our time with the baby and I didn’t feel getting away from him. But we had to leave for other relatives’ house because we were required to meet everyone. Later that evening we went to my mother in law’s sister’s house, whom my husband calls Mithi Mashi (Mithi=Sweet, Mashi=Maternal Aunt). There were other aunties as well, who came all the way from Agartala, Tripura and Silchar (Assam) for the function. Their names were very interesting and I liked the way my husband called them, Phuli Mashi and Ringi Mashi. There were so many people altogether, I was puzzled who was who and I was wondering what to do. Everyone was new and unknown to me, except my husband and because of him, I had my own recognition in that unknown place. As I entered Mithi Mashi’s house, I felt so special, all his cousins were calling me Boumoni (=sister-in-law/ brother’s wife) and I was surrounded by all of them with love, warmth and adorn. All the three Mashis (Maternal Aunties) were very good, very jolly and fun loving. They were treating me with care and loved me so much, for once I missed my own mashi who is no more in this world and I found my mashi in them. They pay a lot of respect to my mother in law, she being the eldest of all the four sisters. They performed the Blessing Ceremony of the newly wedded couple (ie, me and my husband) and did the ‘ulu dhwani’ (a sound made by rolling the tongue over the mouth to praise the Deities) and presented gifts. They prepared varieties of dishes and Pithe (A specialty of Bengalis preparation of rice flour caking). Time just passed that delightful night with the glimpse of an eye and it was very enjoyable as well as exhaustible.

Day 3: Mithi Mashi’s house was completely packed with the guests, but she managed to do each and every work very well along with the help of her sisters. I could see the tremendous bond between all his cousins and other relatives. It was a wonderful learning for me as well. The day happened to pass happily with all the kids and gossips with mashis. That evening we went to one of his Grandmother’s house (she was present during our wedding at Kolkata). I felt she looked like my own Grandmother- she had the similar gesture, same way of talking and wrapping the saree. I missed my Grandmother a lot, at once my eyes were filled with tears and felt like hugging her, but there were other people surrounded in the house, so I just went into the kitchen to meet her. She made tea, which tasted just awesome. She has a Grand-daughter, who looked like a Princess and a grandson- who is quite naughty because he scratched his own nose while playing. Both the kids were lovable, they sat near me and also ate sweet from my hand. Grandmother said, “you got to be very lucky because none of these naughty kids sit or talk to strangers whom they meet for the first time, but they ate sweet given by you”. Both the kids came out of their house to bid me Good-bye, saying loudly, ‘Boudi bye, bye Boudi’ (Boudi=Sister in law). Wish that I could spend some more time along with the little kids. We walked all the way from his grandmother’s house till his eldest uncle’s house in Rilbong, which was somewhere around 15 minutes away. On the way, he showed me the ‘Shillong Times’, which is the newspaper publishing house located in Zigzag road, Kench's Trace, the only publisher of a newspaper in the city and perhaps the whole state.

My Husband’s family is quite a big one. From his paternal side, he has five uncles and five aunties. His father was the eldest of all the brothers, but he left this world when my husband was just three years old. My mother in law struggled a lot to look after him and his elder sister. His Badakaku also helped them and looked after them as own father. Although everyone lives separately, far from each other in different places making their own little family, they all have a very strong bond of love and respect towards each other. They share their emotions, happiness and moments of celebration with each other. I was really pleased to know that they tie up with such a mutual and trusting relationship amongst each and everyone. Also happy to see the variant cultures and tradition that they follow. I have been living all the while in a big metro city surrounded by my parents and siblings, but the family bond in small towns are enormously secured and tied up strong between each other.

Day 4: We were on our way to his sister’s house, where we were going to stay for the next four days. The function for the ‘Annaprashan’ (Naming and Rice Eating Ceremony) took place for four days. Many people had gathered at his sister’s house. I didn’t get to know each and everyone properly as all were rushing out for their own tasks. There was a very obstinately stubborn boy named Aman (Baby’s cousin brother), who wanted me to play along with his bat and ball, also sometimes Hide and seek, as others were busy in kitchen work, I spent some time playing with the 3-year-old boy. As there were many guests altogether, there was no proper time for lunch, therefore eating at all odd times made my stomach upset, because I didn’t have the habit of eating at peculiar timings. I wanted to spend the moments with my husband, as everybody was a stranger to me except him, so I would only search him among the crowd of people.
That evening he wanted to show me the most happening place- Police Bazaar, which is the commercial hub of Shillong, a more of a modern market for all commodities and also very near to Jail road, so we went by walk. It seemed to me look alike Kolkata’s New Market a lot more rush and varieties of things available in one place. Just then we ate lunch at his sister’s house and I did not want to eat anything else, despite that he took me to one of the best restaurants in Shillong where according to him we get the authentic flavor of Chinese foods. We also went to the Glory’s Plaza and other shopping malls. Later that night, the function had begun, the baby was given the holy bath with turmeric by his mother and Grandmother. And that entire night there was traditional folk music and dance played by a group of women and also the baby’s Grandmother. They sang and danced in a circle with whole merriment and I could recall that Laho is Meghalaya’s famous classical dance form in India. According to their rituals, they follow everything for an Annaprashan, those we follow during a marriage, celebrating a continuous four-day occasion.

Day 5: It was the ‘Party Day’ and everyone was busy in their own work, I didn’t know what to do and what not. I was feeling quite uncomfortable because since my childhood I had always been with my Parents and my Mother was there to look after me for whatever I needed, wherever we went. But now all were a stranger to me- new people, different language, new place, new culture--- everything was anonymous. I had never stayed in someone else’s house and on that my husband was now busy in helping his Jiju (Brother-in-law) because it was his duty to give helping hands to them for that very moment. The baby was along with me, however, most of the time even he was sleeping. Then we all went to the terrace for the baby’s bath, only married women poured water on baby’s head for the holy bath. Then the Baby along with his Mother and Father sat together for the ceremonial puja activity near the holy fire. It was raining very heavily since afternoon, hailstones were falling down and the weather looked awesome and very romantic. Evening onwards other guests started arriving, even I was ready wearing a heavy saree- which was quite difficult to manage and carry myself with the weight of that saree. His Jiju’s sister Rimu did a gorgeous hairstyle on my hair, as she works in a beauty parlor. I went with Apu and Tinu to the terrace, where the party was organized. Due to rain in the afternoon, the floor carpets were completely wet and it also made the lower part of my saree wet making it much heavier in my little body. Party was on until late night, most of the guests left by that time, only relatives and family members were present there. All started dancing and showing high-spirited enjoyment. I could never forget the jovial act by Ringi mashi and other cousins, they were surprisingly entertaining. I was busy in capturing these joyous moments in my camera and at the same time, I was getting envious of my husband’s behaviour, as he started dancing along with other girls. We all had food late that night, and I knew it could be problematic for me as I couldn’t tolerate late night foods.

Day 6: It was the day of my ‘Shillong Trip’. My husband and I were going by car along with his cousins. On the way, he showed me the Cathedral of Mary, popularly known as Don Bosco Church. He said that the inside of the church was beautifully decorated with painted glass. There was also a huge field where most of the events happen to be occurring. He also showed me St. Edmund’s School, where he completed his studies, it is a big school with a number of playgrounds, and also Raid Laban College, under North Eastern Hill University.  There are many well reputed educational institutions, many of them established by various missionary groups that make Shillong the centre of education for the entire North-East. He said that the Shillong Golf Course is the second largest golf course in Asia. It is very scenic and enjoyable. The course is set in a valley which is covered with pine and rhododendron trees all around it. I saw the Indian Air Force, which is the Eastern Command headquartered in Shillong. I also saw many plain fields where a group of young boys was playing football. Football seemed to be a passionate game towards the East for the youngsters.

At first, the car drove us to the ‘Elephant Falls’, which is located in the Upper Shillong, the mountain stream descends through two successive falls set in dells or dingles of fern and other non-flowering plants covering the rocks surrounding it. At a short distance beyond the falls, there are two other smaller falls which are nonetheless beautiful and captivating. There are a well-paved footpath and a small wooden bridge that makes easier for the access to these falls. It was a bit difficult for me to get down and climb up the descendant, as I wore a saree but my husband was holding my hand. We were really enjoying the scenic beauty and took many snaps along with everyone.

Secondly, we went to the Shillong Peak, it offers a bird’s eye view of the countryside, and is also the highest point in the State. It is an ideal picnic spot-where families can sit, relax and enchant the beauty of the whole town from such an altitude. It was covered with pine and fir trees, looked beautiful from far. From the Peak, a picturesque view of the city of Shillong could be seen, where I stood and my husband took a lot of photographs. The whole town was visible and my husband mentioned that at the centre there is a huge empty field, which is the ‘Garrison Ground’ the field belongs to the army. The view was so sensuous that I felt as if I was in the ‘Domicile of Gods’. All the shopkeepers were Khasi, women wearing traditional tunic like Jainsems. My husband described that the Khasi tribe followed the matrilineal social structure, which dictates that the youngest daughter inherits her parents’ property and the children take the surname of their mother. The womenfolk are also the main bread-earners of the family and usually, the males go to their wives home after marriage. These women were selling honey, pineapples, piglets, dried fish, wild mushroom, raw betel nuts, bamboo baskets, knives, and vegetables. From one of the shop, my husband bought pineapple and Musleri, a dark red colored sour tasting fruit because I like sour tasted fruits.

Thirdly, we went to the Ward’s Lake, it was the horse-shoe shaped lake. In the center of the lake, at the entrance, there is a wooden bridge linking one end of the lake to the other. People were standing on the bridge and feeding the fishes which were an interesting thing to watch and do as well. Even my husband bought puffed rice from outside to feed these fishes. I insisted him to take photos when those fishes gathered at one place. Many people were riding paddle-boats in the lake. I was always fascinated by colourful flowers hence this lake had a great scenic view from all the corners that I wanted to see. I went along with him to the entire end of this lake and conquered the beauty of this lake.

Lastly, we all went to a restaurant that is one of the oldest dining places in the city, where my husband’s antecedents and even he himself used to visit in his childhood.

I heard about Cherrapunji, which holds the world’s highest rainfall record and also Mawsynram, the world’s wettest place, but we couldn’t visit these places. He also mentioned about the ‘Seven Sisters’, it is named because seven streams pour down the mountains. I had a great desire to visit these places as well. But my husband did convey that this time we had been there for a different purpose, so he would try it on our next visit.

Day 7: The baby wore a beautiful dhoti- kurta given by his only Mama (Mama=maternal uncle) ie, my husband and I would be called as Mami. The Baby was fed with Rice, Fish and other items in a pinch of amount by his Grandfather. Ritual to name the baby was followed in the meanwhile, so everyone started calling the baby by his name now. His Mama also fed him kheer (rice pudding). By evening all the rituals and the function was over. And we were returning back to Rilbong. His Jiju drove his car to drop us from Jail road to Rilbong.

Day 8: Morning me, my husband and his mom went to Garikhana by local taxi, there situated a Kali Temple- where he used to visit most often to worship Goddess Kali. We went inside the temple and did offerings to the priest and Goddess. We offered a piece of sandalwood and other puja items. From there we walked towards Mawprem, where he spent his early childhood, he showed me the school- Hindu Mission Anaath Ashram, where his Father served as a teacher. It was drizzling all day long. We went to his Maly uncle’s house, aunty is very simple and sweet in nature, their son was quite shy to talk to me. From there, we headed to Police Bazaar for shopping. That evening he went to show me the house where he used to stay during his teenage days in Rilbong. There was a rule in Shillong that only the Khasi and other locals had the rights to buy property, that is why other castes had to rent or lease their house for short term, therefore, even my husband and his family had to change their home a lot of times earlier, fortunately now his uncle is able to make his own house.

Day 9: Typically my in-laws wake up very early in the morning around 5 am, but this day we woke up earlier than ever, as my husband was leaving Shillong. He took bath and got ready, then had his breakfast. He was leaving me in Shillong along with his mom and go back by flight because his office leaves were getting over and he was supposed to get back and report to his work. I would rather go back along with his mom by train later. He left me alone in an unknown place where I went for the first time in my life, in between all unknown people- whom I have hardly known. I requested and urged him to take me along with him, but he wanted me to spend some more days in his birthplace. I didn’t show him my sadness, neither did I show him my tears nor I spoke to him before he left, he didn’t even look at me before leaving and directly went to the car. That whole day seemed to be more than a year, somehow I was able to adjust without him, but my heart was crying from deep within. I was sad, but showing to the people around me that I was fine. Evening his mother took me to one of their relative’s house, they wanted to see the new bride (me) we went to Umpling, which is quite far from Rilbong. My health was not doing good, felt dizziness and discomfort, because eating at unusual times for the past few days.

Was I happy anymore??

NO.

All that my excitement, enthusiasm and adventurous zeal for this journey were over, I was all in vain without him. I was still wondering how could he had left me and gone alone that way.

Day 10: His Mother and I were invited to Mithi Mashi’s place. We spent the complete day at her home and I did not feel so much upset because Mashi was very loving and caring, Mithi Mashi's daughter Apu was there talking to me, that is why the time passed a bit smoother. But I could still feel very lonely and incomplete without him.

Day 11: Days seemed to be very long without him. Today we were invited at one of his uncle’s house, who stays in Mawiong. My husband calls him Ronga Kaku- he is in defense, now working as a Battalion Chief in Meghalaya Police. I wore a grand saree so that I could feel good and look good, but my face was distressed. His youngest uncle brought his own car and we all went to Mawiong in the afternoon by his car. Kakimoni had prepared varieties of dishes, but I could hardly taste all of them. She presented me a red color saree, which was dazzlingly beautiful and red being my favorite color, I liked the saree very much. Their elder daughter is very pretty and looks very similar to my husband’s own sister. That place was quite peaceful and very clean, it was covered with pine trees.

Day 12: Morning I packed my luggage and got ready, now it was the time to bid farewell to this amazing natural beauty. His Grandmother was crying and Kakimoni kissed my hand and blessed me. I felt heavy-hearted thinking when would I meet them again. We hired a car, the driver kept all luggage in the car. When the car started, I looked back each time to get a glance at them and carry their images in my eyes. I looked out of the glass and saw each and every nook and corner of Shillong so that I can carry every glimpse of it along with me and keep in my imagination. In about three and a half hour we reached Guwahati.

In Guwahati, we stayed at my husband’s Pisimoni’s (Paternal Aunty) house for three days. She has a daughter named Piya, who was very friendly and she accompanied me all the time and also gave me story books for my time pass. They stay at Ulubari, which is quite near to the Guwahati Railway station, which is in Paltan Bazaar.

My stay in the North-East for 14 days with all the strangers who gave a new meaning to my life and new relations were created with all of them. It was very different feeling altogether, meeting so many people- who were unknown to me, but because of someone, I was related to all of them. But I was missing that someone each and every moment, who was supposed to be with me always, somehow I managed spending 6 days +3 days (in the train) of my journey without him. Although everyone was very kind to me, I missed only him all the time.

My trip to the North-East was marvellous, a memorable one and quite tiring as well. I am eagerly waiting for my next visit to the North-East, but wish the next time my husband would be with me for the entire trip. It was a wonderful experience exploring new places, new individuals, new culture, new relations and a new family, and I would love to meet everyone once again in my life.
Author: Paromita Pramanick

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My12 Days in Jammu and Kashmir
MAYAPUR BHRAMAN

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